i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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