Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
