I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize