I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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