I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
