i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
