I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize