I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
