epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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