i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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