My pussy is not your playground.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
