sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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