There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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