Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
