In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
