Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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