I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
