The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
