North Korea, Best Korea!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
