She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
