in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
