so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My pussy is not your playground.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
