Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
