jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Shame - the story of my life.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
