This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
