just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Even my vagina gasped.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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