I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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