He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
