I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
