I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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