Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize