I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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