just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
