R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
