Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
