you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
