OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
