It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
