I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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