Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
