bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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