Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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