if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
