just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
