he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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