I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
