Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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