It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
