Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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