He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
