I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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