i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want nice things and good sex
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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