so explain again why im purple
no
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
