I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
