I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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