they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
