i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
