how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize