there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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