This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize