The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My vagina just clenched in fear
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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