Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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