i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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