just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
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