I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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