I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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