Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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