YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
